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[Walnut]

Walnut

Story Time!

ITT I post stories. I'll try to keep an index in this post to link to particular stories, if I can figure it out. I'll post everything from real stories that have been dramatized, to totally fake stories I found on the intrawebz. First few were posted on the chat and I'm too lazy to convert them to paragraph form, so I'll post them as-is. Prepare to be entertained :d

#1 - Dramatized Kyle Story
#2 - (Short) Ex-Girlfriend Story
#3 - Dramatized Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament
#4 - Dramatized Made An Internet Hooker Cry
#5 - (Dramatized?) Football Game
#6 - Some Girl and I Got Shut Out in Beer Pong
#7 - Swoftu almost died today

- New stories will be stuff that I write when I get bored, or cool stories that I find, or whatever. Long stories are subindexed for ease of access to find stuff. Just click to navigate. -
- FEEL FREE TO COMMENT PEOPLE. SERIOUSLY. -

ROLL TIDE WHAT? **** YOU!!! Geaux Tiga

~The Gaurdians of ZFGC~
Kirby, metallica48423, Max, Vash, walnut100

• 

[Walnut]

Walnut

Re: Story Time!

#1 - Dramatized Kyle Story

[23:57] <Vash> torch
[23:57] <Vash> your name is.. kyle
[23:57] <Vash> ?
[23:58] <Tet> odd name for a black man, isn't it D:?
[23:58] <walnut100> I know a Kyle.
[23:58] <walnut100> He
[23:58] <walnut100> is from Texas
[23:58] <walnut100> He drives a big truck
[23:58] <walnut100> It's black.
[23:58] <walnut100> He drives it way too fast
[23:58] <walnut100> Some gangstas were chasing us down in that old truck
[23:58] <walnut100> And he gunned it going 100 down some country roads
[23:59] <walnut100> We almost ran into a horse
[23:59] <walnut100> The horse proceeded to take a !@#$% where it was standing
[23:59] <walnut100> And we got away from the gangstas
[23:59] <walnut100> And ate Arby's
[23:59] <walnut100> Where we met some guy named Fred
[23:59] <walnut100> Fred kept talking about how fatty Arby's is
[23:59] <walnut100> And how my roast beef sandwich is death on a bun
[23:59] <walnut100> I told Fred to !@#$% off
[23:59] <walnut100> I'd eat my sandwich however I damn well please
[23:59] <walnut100> Covered in fats or not
[00:00] <walnut100> Then he started talking about how much he hated his life
[00:00] <walnut100> So Kyle and I and the other guys left for Walmart
[00:00] <walnut100> Where we grabbed scooters
[00:00] <walnut100> And went around the store doing tricks over furniture
[00:00] <walnut100> Until we got kicked out
[00:00] <torch> what
[00:00] <walnut100> I know a Kyle.
[00:00] <walnut100> The end.
[00:01] <DJ|ZFGCity> I know 2 Kyles
[00:01] <Tet> I love kyles
[00:01] <torch> I am a Kyle.
[00:01] <torch> I think I win.

ROLL TIDE WHAT? **** YOU!!! Geaux Tiga

~The Gaurdians of ZFGC~
Kirby, metallica48423, Max, Vash, walnut100

• 

[Walnut]

Walnut

Re: Story Time!

#2 - (Short) Ex-Girlfriend Story

[00:03] <walnut100> My first girlfriend's name was Jamie. She was a 5'7" blonde with green eyes and a B cup. She always said I was amazing or some !@#$% like that. I broke up with her, she got uber-pissed, and then she went lesbian.
[00:04] <Tet> Why'd you break up with that ;-;
[00:04] <walnut100> <_< Cuz
[00:04] <Tet> did you remember to tap it first?
[00:05] <walnut100> I didn't sleep with her no.
[00:05] <walnut100> I made out with her enough
[00:05] <Tet> well that's close enough
[00:05] <Vash> he went on to date hazelnut200.
[00:05] <ZServ> wally
[00:05] <walnut100> Indeed.
[00:05] <ZServ> is that the crazy one?
[00:05] <walnut100> Yes >_>
[00:05] <walnut100> I don't want to get into detail here
[00:05] <walnut100> NEXT STORY
[00:05] <Tet> she sounds quite nice, given the physical detail
[00:05] <Tet> I love the crazy ones
[00:05] <Tet> I love the B cups
[00:05] <Tet> I love the combo breaker

ROLL TIDE WHAT? **** YOU!!! Geaux Tiga

~The Gaurdians of ZFGC~
Kirby, metallica48423, Max, Vash, walnut100

• 

[Walnut]

Walnut

Re: Story Time!

#3 - Dramatized Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament

[00:06] <walnut100> My first YuGiOh tournament was when I was 12. I was practically 13, less than 24 hours away from being a teenager
[00:06] <Tet> Boom de yada boom de yada
[00:06] <walnut100> I brought my super special awesome deck
[00:06] <walnut100> 40 cards I do believe
[00:06] <walnut100> Packed with the power of the unstoppable Barrel Dragon
[00:06] <walnut100> And a knack for flipping heads on coin tosses
[00:06] <Tet> :O!
[00:06] <ZServ> i !@#$%
[00:06] <ZServ> HATE you
[00:06] <walnut100> I couldn't lose
[00:06] <ZServ> lol
[00:06] <ZServ> you lost
[00:06] <walnut100> Just flip heads 2/3 times
[00:06] <walnut100> And BAM, instant monster kill
[00:06] <walnut100> So I went to face my first opponent
[00:07] <walnut100> His name was Karl.
[00:07] <walnut100> Karl was an uber-nerd
[00:07] <walnut100> At a yugioh tournament.
[00:07] <walnut100> Surprised? I am.
[00:07] <walnut100> He had thick glasses
[00:07] <walnut100> A long nose
[00:07] <walnut100> Greasy hair
[00:07] <walnut100> And the three element monsters that made up the gatekeeper thing
[00:07] <walnut100> I knew if I were to take him out I'd have to use my secret weapon
[00:07] <ZServ> he !@#$% you
[00:08] <walnut100> That's right, I pulled out my DICK and cummed all over him
[00:08] <walnut100> Not really.
[00:08] <ZServ> and why do you have so many !@#$% awesome stories
[00:08] <walnut100> Actually, I pulled out an epic man eater bug
[00:08] <walnut100> I flipped that !@#$% into attack mode
[00:08] <ZServ> i just spit my drink out
[00:08] <walnut100> And he gave me the omg epic look
[00:08] <walnut100> I had destroyed his witch of the black forest
[00:08] <walnut100> It was on like Donkey Kong now.
[00:09] <walnut100> He pulled out a powerful foe, a piece of Exodia
[00:09] <walnut100> I then paid him $5 to forfeit the match and play Diablo 2 on one of the internet cafe computers surrounding me
[00:09] <walnut100> He accepted my bribe.
[00:09] <walnut100> I couldn't lose.
[00:09] <walnut100> Round 2 was upon me
[00:09] <Tet> WALNUT WINS #ZFGC
[00:10] <walnut100> I had to face my best friend and his unstoppable 60 card deck of hand bought monsters
[00:10] <walnut100> I was quivering in my boots at the prospect of facing my best friend
[00:10] <walnut100> I was quickly reminded of that episode of Pokemon
[00:11] <walnut100> Where Ash faces his best friend Richie in the tournament
[00:11] <ZServ> I FUUUUCKIN HATE YOU SOOOO MUCH
[00:11] <walnut100> In the end, ash is a moron who somehow had his Charizard lose to a !@#$% Pikachu
[00:11] <walnut100> I mean god, who the hell names their pikachu sparky
[00:11] <walnut100> I put myself in Ash's position
[00:11] <Mammy> I read that as "In the end, Ash is a mormon"
[00:11] <Mammy> I was like "wut"
[00:11] <Tet> sssh
[00:12] <walnut100> And gave my friend $20 to spend on a video game
[00:12] <Tet> zfgc is now walnut's memory blog
[00:12] <walnut100> Victory was mine.
[00:12] <walnut100> Onto round 3
[00:12] <walnut100> I was facing a 12 year old girl
[00:12] <Mammy> I remember this cat...
[00:12] <Mammy> Snickers
[00:12] <Mammy> who was like
[00:12] <Mammy> evil
[00:12] <walnut100> She was not the kind of girl who'd take bribery lightly
[00:12] <walnut100> No, she was a mormon
[00:12] <Mammy> And Walnut was like "BUT YOUR CAT IS NOT COOL COMPARED TO MINE"
[00:12] <Mammy> and I was like
[00:12] <Mammy> "Tabby will kick snickers ass in terms of eval"
[00:12] <walnut100> If I were to bribe her and win, I'd have to pull something epic
[00:13] <Mammy> (tabby's my cat)
[00:13] <walnut100> Truly epic
[00:13] <Mammy> and then I was like
[00:13] <Mammy> "HUZZAH"
[00:13] <Mammy> and Wally was like "Bring it!"
[00:13] <Mammy> so we challenged our cats to a battle to the death
[00:13] <Mammy> in yugioh style exaddurated combat
[00:13] <walnut100> So I pulled out my card placemat
[00:13] <Tet> mammy
[00:13] <Tet> you suck
[00:13] <Mammy> I played the race card in attack mode
[00:13] <walnut100> Set my lifepoints calculator to 8000
[00:13] <Mammy> so Wally couldnt do anything. Cuz I'm black
[00:13] <walnut100> And prepared to bribe her.
[00:13] <Mammy> and then Wally was like
[00:13] <Mammy> "!@#$% I LOSE"
[00:13] <walnut100> She placed her first monster in defense mode
[00:13] <Mammy> and that was the end of that debate
[00:14] <walnut100> A clever move for a clever mormon
[00:14] * ZServ !@#$% facedesks hard
[00:14] <Mammy> then Wally disappeared :(
[00:14] <walnut100> I drew my card
[00:14] <Mammy> never to return
[00:14] <walnut100> Slowly
[00:14] <walnut100> Slooooowly
[00:14] <ZServ> Wally, did you use the heart of the cards?
[00:14] <walnut100> Trusting in the heart of the capitalism
[00:14] <ZServ> Wally then grabbed her deck and ran like hell
[00:14] <walnut100> I drew out a ten spot
[00:14] * Tet is clapping at this point
[00:14] * &Vash (vash@windfyre.net) Quit (Quit: :|)
[00:14] <walnut100> Which happened to be taped to the front of my dark hole
[00:14] <walnut100> I simply smiled and flashed the money/card at her
[00:15] * Vash (vash@windfyre.net) has joined #zfgc
[00:15] * ChanServ sets mode: +ao Vash Vash
[00:15] <walnut100> She gave me a sexy look
[00:15] <walnut100> A look that says
[00:15] <DJ|ZFGCity> I added a bit to ZFGcity
[00:15] <DJ|ZFGCity> :D
[00:15] <DJ|ZFGCity> who wanna see?
[00:15] <walnut100> "!@#$% you I'm going to run your ass into the ground"
[00:15] <walnut100> And so she did.
[00:15] <DJ|ZFGCity> not much
[00:15] <ZServ> yugioh is cereal business
[00:15] <Tet> !@#$% yes it is
[00:15] <walnut100> I was humiliated, but I got a complimentary promo pack
[00:15] <ZServ> LOL WALLY
[00:15] <walnut100> And an official duelist number
[00:15] <Pyrazor> WHOOP DEE
[00:15] <ZServ> YOU LOST TO A !@#$% GIRL
[00:15] <Pyrazor> ;D
[00:15] <Tet> SEXISM
[00:15] <Pyrazor> ZSERV
[00:15] <walnut100> I left with my head up high, four cards richer
[00:16] <walnut100> And twenty five dollars poorer
[00:16] <Pyrazor> YOUR SEXISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED HERE UNLESS WOMEN ARE NOT PRESENT
[00:16] <walnut100> It was a good day.
[00:16] <DJ|ZFGCity> http://www.yoroshii.org/zfgc_city/zfgc_city2.1.swf
[00:16] <ZServ> 25 bucks for 4 cards
[00:16] <ZServ> better have been !@#$% SWEET cards
[00:16] <Tet> I'm womanly
[00:16] <ZServ> no tet
[00:16] <ZServ> there is a difference between womanly and !@#$%
[00:16] <walnut100> Oh they were
[00:16] <walnut100> 1200 attack monsters
[00:16] <walnut100> FTW
[00:16] <Tet> Zelda-Bot will not tolerate the word "!@#$%"
[00:16] <walnut100> Three stars too
[00:16] <walnut100> :o
[00:16] <ZServ> walnut100; dayum
[00:17] <walnut100> The mormon girl got a shiny
[00:17] <ZServ> my friends used to give me !@#$% cuz my deck was based around magicians
[00:17] <Mammy> Tet
[00:17] <Tet> zserv y r u mean 2 mi ;-;.
[00:17] <Mammy> you call people that all the time
[00:17] <walnut100> Some high powered level 7 monster or something
[00:17] <walnut100> She also got to advance to a better tournament
[00:17] <ZServ> i got 3 fuckin dark magicians, dark magician girl, and a random red eyes black dragon
[00:17] <walnut100> Now, she goes to BYU
[00:17] <walnut100> I never met her again after that tournament
[00:17] <walnut100> But she goes to BYU.
[00:18] <walnut100> I've never met a mormon who hasn't gone to BYU.

ROLL TIDE WHAT? **** YOU!!! Geaux Tiga

~The Gaurdians of ZFGC~
Kirby, metallica48423, Max, Vash, walnut100

• 

[Dumb_Ass]

Dumb_Ass

Re: Story Time!

I'll post the football story for Walnut.
#5 - (Dramatized?) Football Game

[01:34] <ZServ> I DEMAND MOAR STORIES
[01:34] <Tet> I LOVE YOU WALNUT
[01:34] <Reo> I hate making people cry, though...
[01:34] * Tet holds walnut in his/her arms
[01:35] <+walnut100> Let me think of another one...
[01:35] <Tet> don't push yourself
[01:36] <Reo> Crying upsets me.
[01:36] <+walnut100> Well
[01:36] <+walnut100> There was that one time I went to a football game
[01:36] <+walnut100> It was a great night
[01:36] <+walnut100> October, crisp autumn air
[01:36] <+walnut100> Homecoming was the next night
[01:37] <+walnut100> It was time for gridiron football
[01:37] <+walnut100> But first
[01:37] <+walnut100> The mormons invited me to their annual tailgate party
[01:37] <+walnut100> Who could deny free food, even if there was mormons involved?
[01:38] <+walnut100> I was at swim practice, and the new Freshman on the swim team had one of his first practices
[01:38] <+walnut100> He was going to a party too
[01:38] <+walnut100> So I figured I'd drive him down
[01:38] <+walnut100> We went to the grocery store to pick up hotdogs
[01:38] <+walnut100> We came upon a tough choice
[01:38] <+walnut100> Beef or turkey dogs?
[01:38] <Pyrazor> Turkey or beef?
[01:39] <Pyrazor> yeah
[01:39] <Pyrazor> i figured
[01:39] <+walnut100> Hebrew National or Vienna?
[01:39] <+walnut100> Oscar Meyer or Ballpark?
[01:39] <Pyrazor> oh come on
[01:39] <+walnut100> And of course
[01:39] <Pyrazor> that's obvious
[01:39] <+walnut100> Braums buns or frozen buns?
[01:39] <+walnut100> In the end, he picked up some frozen buns and a pack of Oscar Meyer turkey dogs
[01:39] <+walnut100> I picked up some Hebrew National dogs and a two liter coke
[01:40] <+walnut100> We continued on our journey through downtown Oklahoma City.
[01:40] <+walnut100> On the way to the game I stopped at Braums to pick up some buns.
[01:40] <+walnut100> What's a dog without its buns?
[01:40] <+walnut100> Probably buttsex or something.
[01:40] <+walnut100> I paid the lovely cashier who had a mole on her nose and made my escape
[01:40] <+walnut100> We were off to the big game
[01:41] <+walnut100> Except, there was a small problem
[01:41] <+walnut100> At the stop light, to my right, I noticed a local police officer rushing into an apartment complex holding a scout
[01:41] <+walnut100> Another cop was on the ground with a sniper rifle
[01:41] <+walnut100> There was gunfire from the apartments
[01:41] <+walnut100> It was a shootout, Alexander Hamilton style
[01:42] <+walnut100> I turned to the right as fast as I could, as in Oklahoma right turn on red is legal
[01:42] <+walnut100> Musnt break the law
[01:42] <+walnut100> Afterall, those cops have !@#$% sniper rifles
[01:42] <+walnut100> Imagine what would happen if I sped and they pointed that thing at me
[01:42] <+walnut100> I'd have a flat tire probably.
[01:43] <+walnut100> So we escaped the firefight and the freshman asked me "Did that guy have a gun?"
[01:43] <+walnut100> And I said "Yup."
[01:43] <+walnut100> So then we went to see the mormons at the grill
[01:43] <+walnut100> They all had to shake my hand and introduce themselves
[01:43] <+walnut100> Unfortunately they all have the same personality
[01:43] * Mammy slaps walnut100 around a bit with a large trout
[01:43] <Reo> THIS IS SO !@#$% BORING
[01:43] <+walnut100> And they all were drinking A&W rootbeer and eating hamburgers
[01:43] <Mammy> +say penis
[01:43] <cpbot> cocksickle 
[01:43] <Mammy> +define Jessetyler
[01:43] <cpbot> Definitions for Jessetyler:
[01:43] <cpbot> HE'S A DUMB SECOND GRADER. HURR.
[01:43] <cpbot> jessetyler.com
[01:43] <cpbot> theres three d's dumbass
[01:43] <cpbot> DOLPHIN BOY!
[01:43] <cpbot> http://www.coolwebsearch.com/
[01:43] <cpbot> *no legs*
[01:43] <cpbot> faps to beanie babies having buttsecks! :O
[01:43] <cpbot> *   Max gives Jesse a kiss
[01:43] <cpbot> JesseTyler   
[01:43] <cpbot> likes to yiff
[01:43] <cpbot> I am a male, looking for a male.
[01:43] <cpbot> *tosses the salad*
[01:43] <cpbot> Tossing the salad.
[01:44] <cpbot> likes to rip cats new ones.
[01:44] <cpbot> http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a311/darkmule/zap3.png
[01:44] <cpbot> lieks teh mudkips D:
[01:44] <cpbot> Sorry, I have no definition for penis. Why not add one yourself? Type +adddefinition penis put your definition here
[01:44] <+walnut100> Sexy hamburgers
[01:44] <cpbot> In soviet Russia, salad tosses you!
[01:44] <cpbot> Sorry, I have no definition for PENIS. Why not add one yourself? Type +adddefinition PENIS put your definition here
[01:44] <cpbot> liked to yiff... wtf? o.O
[01:44] <cpbot> The fat kid from that crappy "Home Movies" show.
[01:44] <+walnut100> Hamburgers with pickles
[01:44] <cpbot> ZOMG
[01:44] <cpbot> Closet furfag
[01:44] <cpbot> <JesseTyler>
[01:44] <+walnut100> And lettuce
[01:44] <cpbot> almost like jdbye, but with images
[01:44] <Mammy> Hamburger with egg!
[01:44] <+walnut100> And ketchup
[01:44] <+Dantz> +define Dantz
[01:44] <cpbot> Sorry, I have no definition for Dantz. Why not add one yourself? Type +adddefinition Dantz put your definition here
[01:44] <+walnut100> So anyway, eventually the mormon priest or whatever he is arrived
[01:44] <+Dantz> +adddefinition Dantz The greatest man to ever live.
[01:44] <+walnut100> He was the head cheese of the local church
[01:44] <cpbot> Definition for Dantz added. 2a Dantz
[01:44] <Reo> +define queef
[01:44] <cpbot> Definitions for queef:
[01:44] <cpbot> !@#$% fart.
[01:44] <+walnut100> He opened his car door
[01:44] <+Dantz> ....
[01:44] <+walnut100> And was stepping out
[01:44] <+walnut100> When a bra hit him square in the face
[01:45] <+walnut100> A 16 year old girl was stripping
[01:45] <+walnut100> About three feet to his left
[01:45] <+walnut100> To get the boy's attention
[01:45] <Reo> +b
[01:45] <cpbot> show !@#$%!!!!!
[01:45] <+walnut100> He sat there with a blank stare on his face
[01:45] <+walnut100> Obviously dumbfounded at what he was seeing
[01:45] <Reo> +spam
[01:45] <cpbot> SPAM: HUGE PENIS +++ livestock
[01:45] <+walnut100> He started making a speech about it to his children
[01:45] <+walnut100> I didn't want to hear it so I went to play frisbee with some other friends
[01:46] <+walnut100> Then the football game came
[01:46] <+walnut100> I ran down to the field and ran out with the team
[01:46] <+walnut100> And got kicked off the field
[01:46] <+walnut100> But I was allowed to stay in the game because they're stupid like that
[01:46] <Mammy> http://gendou.com/forum/thread.php?thr=19598 Hanamaru Hamburger =3
[01:46] <Mammy> +joke
[01:46] <+Dantz> +define Mammy
[01:46] <cpbot> How do you make a little girl cry twice?
[01:46] <cpbot> Wipe your bloody DICK on her teddy bear.
[01:46] <cpbot> Definitions for Mammy:
[01:46] <cpbot> Likes lots of pizza
[01:46] <+walnut100> My then girlfriend was ignoring me that night
[01:47] <+walnut100> I said hi to her and she brushed me off
[01:47] <Hoffy> Mammy
[01:47] <Hoffy> you made me feel bad for asking her if it was Fox :s
[01:47] <+walnut100> No big deal, afterall, I have friends to be with
[01:47] <+walnut100> I went to buy a soda
[01:47] <+walnut100> But what kind of soda?
[01:47] <+Dantz> Yeah, good thread that was >_>
[01:47] <+walnut100> Orange soda?
[01:47] <+walnut100> 7UP?
[01:47] <+walnut100> Coke?
[01:47] <Mammy> lol sorry Hoff
[01:47] <+walnut100> Pepsi?
[01:47] <+walnut100> The options were limitless
[01:47] <+JesseTyler> http://gizmodo.com/5029595/back-to-the-future-hoverboard-auction-starts-at-30000
[01:47] <+walnut100> As limitless as my soul's
[01:47] <Mammy> I was going to ask
[01:47] <Mammy> but
[01:47] <+walnut100> A battle that transcends time and history one could say
[01:48] <Mammy> I felt it would be inappropriate being an admin and him being a mod
[01:48] <+walnut100> I bought an orange soda.
[01:48] <Reo> I think this story is scripted.
[01:48] <Mammy> I didn't want to add any potential hostility :p
[01:48] <Mammy> yes
[01:48] <Reo> Ah.
[01:48] <+walnut100> I drank my soda and put it in the recycling bin
[01:48] <Hoffy> if it isn't scripted
[01:48] <+walnut100> Reo: These are all real
[01:48] <+walnut100> Seriously
[01:48] <Hoffy> walnut rocks harder than normal
[01:48] <Reo> Oh, you're there?
[01:48] <Mammy> I can personally see Fox being very annoying IRL
[01:48] <Mammy> so
[01:48] <Mammy> lol
[01:48] <Reo> tl;dr
[01:48] <+walnut100> Then after I put my soda in the bin
[01:48] <Hoffy> actually yeah
[01:48] <Hoffy> say
[01:48] <Hoffy> *same
[01:48] <+walnut100> I went off to watch the game
[01:48] <Hoffy> Fox is cool on the internet though
[01:48] <+walnut100> Our team was getting pounded
[01:48] <+walnut100> Hardcore
[01:49] <+walnut100> We were playing our longtime rivals, Edmond Memorial
[01:49] <+walnut100> 14-0 at the half
[01:49] <+walnut100> This gay kid was sitting next to me
[01:49] <Hoffy> lol
[01:49] <+walnut100> He obviously had down syndrome
[01:49] <+walnut100> He just kept creeping closer
[01:49] <+walnut100> And closer
[01:49] <+walnut100> And closer
[01:49] <+walnut100> And closer to me
[01:49] <Reo> And then he said "I LOVE YOU"
[01:49] <+walnut100> To the point where I was uncomfortable
[01:49] <Hoffy> eh, he seems like a pretty fun person
[01:49] <Mammy> >_>;;
[01:49] <+walnut100> He was giving my penis weird looks
[01:49] <Mammy> I don't know
[01:49] <+walnut100> I told him I had to go get a coke
[01:49] <Mammy> hard to keep up with the real conversations :p
[01:49] <+walnut100> And I ditched the !@#$%
[01:49] <Hoffy> yes
[01:50] <+walnut100> And found my friends who play in a local band
[01:50] <Mammy> what with this ebil scripted story here
[01:50] <+walnut100> I sat with them for a while and discussed music
[01:50] <+walnut100> They're big Beatles fans
[01:50] <Reo> But then you turned around and had hot gay sex with that retard THE END
[01:50] <+walnut100> I personally at the time was big into Iron Maiden
[01:50] <Reo> Trooper, plx.
[01:50] * walnut100 was kicked by Vash (be good)
[01:50] * walnut100 (Shan.w@nt.go.informer) has joined #zfgc
[01:50] <Mammy>
[01:50] <walnut100> WTF Vash I'm not done yet
[01:50] <walnut100> So anyway
[01:51] <walnut100> I was discussing music with them
[01:51] <Mammy> Wallu has DJ's hostmask?
[01:51] <Mammy> y u steal his
[01:51] <walnut100> Maybe? I dunno
[01:51] <walnut100> Anyway
[01:51] <walnut100> After that I watched the rest of the game
[01:51] <walnut100> We lost
[01:51] <walnut100> It got rained out
[01:51] <walnut100> And I started thinking about dumping my girlfriend because she was giving me the cold shoulder again
[01:51] <Reo> IT IS NOT A COOINKIDINK! :O!!!!!
[01:51] * ChanServ sets mode: +h Mammy
[01:51] <walnut100> I met with another girlfriend (Not in the romantic sense) and discussed the game with her
[01:51] <%Mammy>
[01:52] <walnut100> She's not too into football
[01:52] <walnut100> And knew nothing about the underlying mechanics of it all
[01:52] <Hoffy> grats
[01:52] * Vash sets mode: +v Hoffy
[01:52] <Reo> Grats both of you.
[01:52] <&Vash> So, hoffy how are you?
[01:52] <Pyrazor> COUNTER grats
[01:52] <walnut100> I discussed the stupid play where we dropped the ball on the extra pointer
[01:52] <+Hoffy> excellent
[01:52] <walnut100> Which led to a Memorial touchdown
[01:52] <walnut100> And she made some comment about one of the players having nasty hair
[01:53] <+Hoffy> i just got my fruit box in the bin from like 5m away
[01:53] <&Vash> anyone ever see miles on?
[01:53] <walnut100> Which is ironically the same comment my girlfriend made when I watched the NFL playoffs with her the season before
[01:53] <Reo> Miles?
[01:53] <&Vash> lombarti(sp?)
[01:53] * DJvenom (DJvenom@Yoroshii.org) has joined #zfgc
[01:53] * ChanServ sets mode: +v DJvenom
[01:53] <Reo> Also Hoffy, whenever I do that, no one happens to be looking.
[01:53] <walnut100> I bid her farewell, and went home


Later... (also tl;dr)


[01:55] <+DJvenom> hmmm
[01:55] <+DJvenom> I'm aggrovated for some reason
[01:55] <walnut100> You didn't read my stories DJ
[01:55] <walnut100> Obviously.
[01:57] <Reo> DJ, basically, he got a friend to get some serious weiner, then he drifted and powerboosted on a red light past some cops to a mormon !@#$% tailgate party. Some priest came out of the car and saw some serious boobage. Wally then sat next to a retarded kid who wanted Wally in his every orfice. Then he met some dumb !@#$% girl who escaped from Wally's kitchen was his friend and told her how to play football.

[Walnut]

Walnut

Re: Story Time!

#4 - Dramatized Made An Internet Hooker Cry

[00:20] <walnut100> So this one time I made an internet hooker cry
[00:20] <torch> the hell is that, sucka?
[00:20] <Pyrazor> Soak it up D:?
[00:20] <Tet> hold on wally
[00:20] <Tet> gotta go do stuff
[00:20] <ZServ> just another black kid i know who reminds me of you
[00:20] <walnut100> You can always scroll up ;p
[00:20] <ZServ> different server though
[00:20] <Pyrazor> torch seriously
[00:20] <ZServ> wally
[00:20] <torch> so now you're saying all blacks are alike?
[00:20] <ZServ> im posting this all
[00:20] <Pyrazor> Relax your mind, unwind
[00:20] <ZServ> torch; sure
[00:20] <torch> similarity is not congruence you !@#$%
[00:21] <walnut100> I was casually pleasuring myself to some girl on girl action on my laptop
[00:21] <walnut100> When an ad came up for a live sex show via webcam
[00:21] <Pyrazor> right right
[00:21] <torch> how casually can you do something like that
[00:21] <walnut100> My penis was intrigued by the proposal
[00:21] <Pyrazor> i see
[00:21] <Pyrazor> go on
[00:21] <walnut100> Live webcam sluts? Why not?
[00:21] <torch> quite
[00:21] <Pyrazor> and yes torch
[00:21] <Pyrazor> Xam'd
[00:21] <ZServ> need more info on wally's masturbation habits
[00:21] <Pyrazor> though more of like
[00:21] <Pyrazor> Xamdou
[00:21] <walnut100> So I proceeded to enter a live showing with a fat American woman of the age 26
[00:21] <Pyrazor> promiscous would you say?
[00:21] <walnut100> She looked to weigh about 250 lbs
[00:22] <walnut100> With brown hair
[00:22] <walnut100> Brown eyes
[00:22] <walnut100> And a butterface
[00:22] <torch> oh god
[00:22] <Pyrazor> oh dear
[00:22] <walnut100> I went into the live chat and watched
[00:22] <walnut100> Watch watch watch
[00:22] <Pyrazor> wally's a sucker for butterfaces
[00:22] <walnut100> There were guests making comments like "babe u so fine "
[00:22] <walnut100> And "a real american woman so hot"
[00:22] <Pyrazor> oh my
[00:22] <walnut100> These comments made my blood boil
[00:22] * +DJ|ZFGCity (DJvenom@Yoroshii.org) Quit (Quit: bbl)
[00:23] <walnut100> How can she be a fine babe?
[00:23] <walnut100> She is no foxeh lady
[00:23] <walnut100> She was not alive in the 60's
[00:23] <Pyrazor> valid point
[00:23] <walnut100> She had never attended a Jimi Hendrix concert
[00:23] <walnut100> It was an outrage
[00:23] <Pyrazor> agreed
[00:23] <walnut100> I proceeded to devise a plan
[00:23] <walnut100> A devious plan
[00:23] <Pyrazor> torch do me a favor :O
[00:23] <walnut100> I would call her a fat !@#$% and make her cry.
[00:23] <walnut100> Brilliance.
[00:23] <walnut100> How should I do so however?
[00:24] <walnut100> I reminisced to the teachings of my master
[00:24] <walnut100> The one, the only
[00:24] <Pyrazor> wise decision
[00:24] <Tet> bloodninja
[00:24] <walnut100> The great
[00:24] <walnut100> The powerful
[00:24] <walnut100> The superb
[00:25] <walnut100> The only one who could help me finish a plan such as this one
[00:25] <torch> pyrozaur wat
[00:25] * Pyrazor is now known as Suspensazor
[00:25] <walnut100> The god damned
[00:25] <walnut100> Tony the Tiger
[00:25] <Suspensazor> :O!
[00:25] <walnut100> Only he could make a child cry out in pain
[00:25] <Suspensazor> He's GREEEEAAAAAAAAAT
[00:25] <walnut100> From the extra sugar
[00:25] * Suspensazor is now known as Pyrazor
[00:25] <walnut100> Sure, his cereal may be great
[00:25] <walnut100> Sure, I may earn my stripes if I eat his cereal
[00:25] <walnut100> But what real nutritional value does it have?
[00:25] <Pyrazor> torch just go ahead
[00:26] <Pyrazor> and
[00:26] <walnut100> Vitamin B? Hardly
[00:26] <Pyrazor> SHUT UP AND EXPLODE
[00:26] <walnut100> Calcium? Only because of the milk
[00:26] <walnut100> Where is the energy?
[00:26] <walnut100> Where are the raw carbs?
[00:26] <torch> AAAAAAAAh
[00:26] <walnut100> I see the sugar crash in the middle of a soccer game
[00:26] <walnut100> A poor, five year old boy's soccer game
[00:26] <walnut100> As he gets beat down by eighteen year old girls
[00:26] <torch> WRITE IT DOWN WRITE IT DOWN WRITE IT DOWN WRITE IT DOWN WRITE IT DOWN WRITE IT DOWN WRITE IT DOWN
[00:26] <walnut100> Because for some reason they thought an interleague tournament would be a good idea
[00:26] <walnut100> With teenage lesbians rolling around in mud
[00:26] <Pyrazor> that crazy Bonen no XAMDOU
[00:27] <Pyrazor> with its october air date
[00:27] <walnut100> And five years olds who would have raging boners if they could
[00:27] <torch> PLAYSTATION NETWOOOOOOOOOOOORK
[00:27] <walnut100> Tony used the power of the sugar crash to make his foes cry
[00:27] <Tet> I got raging boners at age 5
[00:27] <walnut100> And thus, I would use sugar
[00:27] <Pyrazor> though the SOUL EATER is sufficient
[00:27] <Pyrazor> LOL, who owns a PS3
[00:27] <Reo> ; 9
[00:27] <walnut100> And so I told the lady
[00:27] <walnut100> Why hello there fine dame. How are you today?
[00:27] <walnut100> She merely ignored me as some idiot said "boobz plx"
[00:27] <torch> SOUL NOMAD AND THE WORLD EATERS
[00:27] <Pyrazor> and lol 5 dollars an episode, and that's a rental
[00:28] <walnut100> And so she smiled
[00:28] <walnut100> With much glee in her eyes
[00:28] <torch> pyra I said the same thing
[00:28] <walnut100> And she pulled off her shirt
[00:28] <walnut100> She had no bra on
[00:28] <walnut100> She had no decency
[00:28] <Pyrazor> someone needs to make an HD rip
[00:28] <walnut100> She just flashed everybody in the chat
[00:28] <walnut100> There could be children in there
[00:28] <Pyrazor> :O!
[00:28] <Pyrazor> i say
[00:28] <walnut100> I was enraged
[00:28] <walnut100> And my boner was dead
[00:28] <walnut100> Because GOD DAMN
[00:28] <walnut100> She was ugly
[00:28] <walnut100> Seriously people pay for that !@#$%?
[00:28] <Tet> she didn't even go into a members only session?
[00:28] <walnut100> No
[00:29] <Tet> damn
[00:29] <Tet> but do go on
[00:29] <walnut100> So I went on to say "Wow, you're such a !@#$%"
[00:29] <walnut100> To which she ignored me
[00:29] <walnut100> And I pressed harder like my dead boner
[00:29] <walnut100> "If there were more sluts like you in the world, we'd have more STDs"
[00:29] <walnut100> "You're such a !@#$% that you make sluts look like sluts you !@#$%"
[00:29] <walnut100> "I hate sluts"
[00:30] <walnut100> Some dude tried to defend her as her eyes began to water
[00:30] <walnut100> She was obviously disturbed by the insults
[00:30] <walnut100> It was the same look my ex gave me after I dumped her
[00:30] <walnut100> Slightly watery eyes
[00:30] <walnut100> Large pupils
[00:30] <walnut100> Slight quivering in facial features
[00:30] <walnut100> The defender said "Sluts make the world go round"
[00:30] <walnut100> To which she smiled
[00:31] <walnut100> I simply retorted cunningly
[00:31] <walnut100> "Once a !@#$%, always a !@#$%, !@#$% MCWHORE HEAD"
[00:31] <torch> COMEDIC TIMING
[00:31] <walnut100> She began to break down
[00:31] <walnut100> The glazed eyes began to spawn tears
[00:31] <walnut100> She told me
[00:31] <walnut100> "!@#$% you, I have a husband and three kids and I've been married for five years quite happily so go !@#$% off and die"
[00:32] <walnut100> I simply smiled as I knew that Tony had guided me well.
[00:32] <walnut100> "So that's why he left you, huh?"
[00:32] <walnut100> She was obviously dumbstruck
[00:32] <walnut100> And enraged
[00:32] <walnut100> Feeling superior to her
[00:32] <walnut100> I linked her to the darth vader NOOOOOOlercoaster on YTMND
[00:33] <walnut100> And left the chat.
[00:33] <walnut100> Not twenty five dollars richer
[00:33] <walnut100> But definitely more badass

ROLL TIDE WHAT? **** YOU!!! Geaux Tiga

~The Gaurdians of ZFGC~
Kirby, metallica48423, Max, Vash, walnut100

• 

[Walnut]

Walnut

Re: Story Time!

#6 - Some Girl and I Got Shut Out in Beer Pong

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

- This will take some time to process the full thing, I'm not doing it all at once -
- It also has like a bazillion parts to it. lulz. Split up for your sanity and your eyesight. -
- I have to get all of these up before I have to leave for a week <_< -

ROLL TIDE WHAT? **** YOU!!! Geaux Tiga

~The Gaurdians of ZFGC~
Kirby, metallica48423, Max, Vash, walnut100

• 

[Walnut]

Walnut

Re: Story Time!

6-1

so my friend was having a party at his apartment and i decided to go because i love getting drunk so i show up and my friend is like 'hey we are all doing shots in the kitchen lets go' so i am like 'word' and go in the kitchen and we do like 4 or 5 shots of rum and then this douche nobody really likes comes in and we call him shed because hes more than a tool so shed comes in and is like 'OH ARE YOU DOING SHOTS LET ME GET ONE' so we are all like 'ok i guess' and pour him a shot and click our glasses and as soon as i down my shot i get drenched in !@#$% and i look around and im like 'what the !@#$%' and i look down at the ground and theres !@#$% puke everywhere and i realize its all over my face and !@#$% and i look and it was !@#$% shed that douchebag puked all over me and theres fuckin hot dog chunks and !@#$% in the puke and im like 'DUDE WHAT THE !@#$%' and shed is like 'what' and im like 'THE !@#$% YOU MEAN WHAT YOU FUCKIN THREW UP ALL OVER ME' and hes like 'that wasnt me' and im like 'bull !@#$% !@#$% it wasnt you' and everyone else was like 'yea shed what the !@#$% man' so i just took my shirt off and ran to the bathroom and some girl was in there taking a picture of herself in the mirror and i burst in covered in puke and was like 'get the !@#$% out' and shes like '!@#$% you im busy' and im like 'who the !@#$% takes pictures of themself in a mirror at a party what is this like 8th grade on myspace' so i kicked her the !@#$% out and showered but man that puke was everywhere it was even in my fuckin ear like you know when you get water in your ear and you have to hop around to get it out it was kinda like that except with fuckin PUKE so i go out to my car to get spare clothes from the trunk and change into them and as im walking back to the apartment i went to the patio and some guys on the second floor were like 'YO DUDE YOU TRYIN TO DO A BEER BONG' and i was like 'hell yea' so they drop down this ridiculously long beer bong from their balcony and that !@#$% must have been like 15 feet and they filled it with beer and i started chugging and holy !@#$% that beer was cold and it never fuckin ended it took me like 20 seconds to down that !@#$% and as soon as i did the people on the 2nd floor were like '!@#$% YEAH MAN' and went inside and i looked and some girl was coming out of the apartment i was going into and she looked at me and was like 'what the hell was that' and i went to say 'beer from heaven' but all that came out was a shitload of puke and i must have thrown up like a whole beer and it fizzed on the ground and the girl was like 'ew wtf' and i went inside and im startin to feel fuckin shitfaced and my friend nick that lives at the apartment was like 'what the !@#$% happened to you' and im like 'i got puked on and then your 2nd floor neighbors made me down some crazy beer bong' and hes like 'haha yea they make me do that on the way to work in the morning sometimes man theyre fuckin crazy' and then he was like 'dude did you see kate is here' and i was like 'word' because kate is this fuckin slammin chick shes so goddamn hot so nick is like 'i got a plan man you ask her to play beer pong against me and mike and you just try to get shut out so she has to get naked' and i was like 'but i have to get naked too' and nicks like 'yea but she gets naked' so i decided it was worth it and i dunno if this is a regional thing or what but generally the rule in beer pong is that if you get 'shut out' it means the other team made every cup before you made a single cup and it results in the losing team having to run around naked so i took a few more shots and went up to kate and was like 'you and me are playing beer pong now' and shes like 'ok' so we play against nick and mike and im delibrately missing every shot and kate just sucks so before you know it we lost and nick is like 'ATTENTION EVERYONE' and everyone looked and hes like 'JOHN AND KATE GOT SHUT OUT AND HAVE TO LAP THE APARTMENT COMPLEX NAKED' and everyone is cheerin and !@#$% and kate was suprisingly cool with it so we both strip down and im butt ass naked and kate stripped down and her body was so fuckin hot man and nick opened the front door and was like 'ready GO' so we both start running down the hallway and some drunk guy in the hallway saw me first and was like 'AH WHAT THE !@#$%' and then saw kate and was like 'HELL YEA' and i rounded the corner towards the main entrance of the complex and saw two cops coming down the hallway and they were lookin right at my dickflapping naked body and i did a doubletake and grabbed kate and was like '!@#$% COPS COPS COPS' and we started running back and she was running towards the apartment and i was like 'NO DONT GO THERE' but it was too late so i fuckin bolted out the fire exit and started running to my car but i saw more cops pulling in so i ran through the parking lot to find a place to hide and i couldnt get into my car anyway because my keys and phone and !@#$% were in my pants that i left in the apartment so im running through the parking lot fuckin freezing my naked ass off and a bunch of guys on a balcony were like 'HOLY !@#$% LOOK THERES A NAKED DUDE' and i kept running and on another balcony there were a bunch of drunk chicks and they were like 'WOOO YEAH GO NAKED GUY' and i stopped and was like 'dude you gotta help me im drunk and naked' and one girl was like 'i can see that' and i was like 'the cops are at my friends place can i please come inside' and she was like 'only if you stay naked' and im like 'yea sure' so shes like 'im room 213' so i went inside the building and was running up the stairs and down the 2nd floor hallway and some lady opened a door with laundry in her hands and she sees me naked and just stares at me and im like 'hey hows it going' and kept running til i got to room 213 and i knocked on the door and some girl opened it and stared at me like 'what the !@#$%' and was like 'ummmm some naked guy is at our door' and i hear some girls go 'OOH IS IT NAKED GUY' and shes like 'i guess hes naked' and they were like 'LET HIM IN' so i go in and its just 4 girls drinkin and they werent that good lookin but they werent ugly so im like whatever and they were like 'so naked guy why are you naked' and i explained and was like 'can i get some clothes or something' and a girl was like 'maybe if you stay and drink with us' and i was like 'ok deal' so we are drinkin some fruity smirnoff !@#$% drink !@#$% and the girls are wasted and just rambling drunk !@#$% and one girl got off the phone and was like 'that was phil hes coming up' and i remembered this kid phil lived in this apartment place and me and him fuckin hate each other so i was like 'is that phil coyne' and they were like 'omg yea you know him' and the last thing i needed was phil coming up and seeing me fuckin naked so i made a split second decision to get the !@#$% outta there so i grabbed a hoodie off of the couch and fuckin bolted and the girls were like 'HEY NAKED GUY GET BACK HERE' but im a quick motherfucker and i was fuckin gone so i hid outside and put the hoodie on and it was a small ass white hollister hoodie for a girl that barely covered my stomach so my junk was still hangin out but at least i had some clothes so i looked and the cops were still outside my friends building so i had no idea what to do so i decided to go to the wawa down the street in case my friend was workin there he could help me out so i started walkin down the road watchin my back to make sure no cop cars were coming and a few cars drove by and beeped at me probably because i looked fuckin ridiculous and one car pulled up next to me and it was some creepy lookin old guy and he was like 'you shouldnt be walking around with your !@#$% out at this time of night' and i was like 'so theres a proper time for me to be walking with my !@#$% out' and hes like 'i can give you a ride' but he kinda creeped me out so i was like 'nah im good' and he drove away so finally i made it to wawa and thankfully it was late so the parking lot was empty but i didnt want to walk in the store butt ass naked so i went around back to see if my friend pete was there and thank god he was he was outside having a cig so i walk up to him and i must have scared the !@#$% outta him and he looked at me and was like 'DUDE WHAT THE !@#$%' and i was like 'i need clothes' and hes like 'wtf happened to yours' and i was like 'cops got em' and hes like 'aight come in the back ill get some wawa clothes' so im waiting in the storage area and some other guy comes in and sees me and is like 'what the !@#$% who are you why are you naked' and im like 'whats with all the questions what are you a cop' and pete comes back in with clothes and is like 'relax man hes cool' so i changed into the employee clothes and told them what happened and asked pete for his phone to call mine to see whats up so i called my phone and kate picked up and she said she didnt stick around she just grabbed our clothes and got the !@#$% outta there and is headed home with one of her friends and i was like 'word can i meet you there and pick up my !@#$%' and shes like 'yea sure just call your phone when you get here' and i was like 'aight' so i was like 'pete man can i get a ride to this chicks place' and hes like 'sorry man im workin til 8 in the morning' and im like '!@#$%' but pete said one of his boys usually rolls up to get food around 2 and could probably hook me up with a ride so i was cool with that so we are all chillin behind the counter and pete and the other guy went out for a cig but i just stayed inside to warm up and this guy comes in and hes obviously fuckin wasted and he walks over to the sandwich machine and fucks around with it for a while and then walks away and comes back and looks at me and is like 'are you gonna sandwich my make or what man' and i was like 'uh no i dont work here' and hes like '!@#$% you lazy !@#$% make my sandwich' and i was like 'no seriously i dont work here man' and hes like 'uhuh you just happen to be wearing the uniform and chillin in the kitchen' and i was like 'actually yea' and just then pete walked in and was like 'yo rob whats good man' to the drunk guy and he was like 'yo man make this guy make me a sandwich' and pointed at me and pete is like 'nah man thats john he dont work here' and rob was like '!@#$% my bad man' and i was like 'is this the guy that you said could give me a ride' and pete is like 'yea rob can you give my man here a ride its not that far' and rob is like 'sure man' so pete made him a sandwich and we got in his truck and as i opened my door there were like 20 empty beer cans on the ground and rob gets in and was like 'ive kinda been drinkin tonight man' and i was like 'whatev me too man you cool to drive tho' and hes like 'yea and its cool im a marine' so im like 'ah ok' and he puts the car in drive and drives into the curb and is like '!@#$% my bad' and throws it in reverse and backs out of there and he is really fuckin drunk and we are drivin down the road and hes swerving everywhere and tellin me these ridiculous stories about iraq and how he accidentally killed this dude who got too close to their hummer and hes like 'yea you are supposed to fire a warning shot at the ground if a car gets too close so i fired a couple rounds in front of this fuckers car and a fuckin shot ricocheted and hit the dude in the fuckin head and he fuckin dropped and crashed his car into a bunch of parked cars but we all just laughed it off' and im just like 'damn man thats fuckin crazy' so we are drivin down the road and im not really tryin to watch how hes driving but all of the sudden he swerves and fuckin wrecks this dudes mailbox and is like 'oh !@#$% man that !@#$% came outta nowhere' and i was like 'what that mailbox' and hes like 'was that what i hit haha' and i was like 'yea but its cool it was totally coming at you' and hes like 'yea man i had no choice but to defend myself' so finally we are getting close and we go down the road and i see a shitload of cops up ahead and rob is like '!@#$% man its a dui checkpoint' and im like '!@#$% turn around' and hes like 'no theyll go after you its too late now' and hes like 'hold up ive done this before and it works' and he pulled over and put his hazards on and got out and opened the hood and disconnected his starter or somethin and was like 'yo man come out here' and i come out and hes like 'will you look at that it looks like my car wont start' and i was like 'damn' and hes like 'i guess i have to call a tow truck' so he called a tow truck and told the guy to tow him to his house and hes like 'this has gotten me out of so many DUIs man you have no idea' so we wait for a while and the tow truck guy comes and he is like 'oh its you again what are you drunk' and rob is like 'no my car wont start' and hes like 'psh whatever alright ill hook ya up' and the tow guy towed us right through the fuckin checkpoint and the cops didnt do !@#$% i cant believe that !@#$% fuckin worked so we were drivin past kates neighborhood and i was like 'yo man can you let me off here' and they dropped me off and i borrowed robs phone to tell kate i was coming and thanked him for the awesome ride so i roll up to kates house and she answers the door wearing my clothes and is like 'wtf why are you in wawa clothes' and i was like 'wtf why are you wearing my clothes' and shes like 'i thought you would wanna take them off' so im like 'word' so one thing leads to another and i ended up fuckin her on her couch and passing out there and that was the craziest game of beer pong i ever played 1

ROLL TIDE WHAT? **** YOU!!! Geaux Tiga

~The Gaurdians of ZFGC~
Kirby, metallica48423, Max, Vash, walnut100

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[Swoftu]

Swoftu

Re: Story Time!

tldr

[Source]

Source

Re: Story Time!

I'm trying to find a point, but I'm not having much luck.

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone thought to themselves "You know, I really want to set those people over there on fire." - George Carlin

(!@#$%)

Hear the haunting words (They'll find you alone)
lost children with no heart are crying (Turning their hearts into stone)
and you're the lost mother they're calling
Go now, run and hide (seek more than vengeance)
I hear them crying at night (your pain is their satisfaction)
outside when the planets are falling (for the rest of time)
They want to feel and know you hear them (Go now, run and hide)

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[legofreak]

legofreak

Re: Story Time!

i dont think i've seen a bigger paragraph in my life... but i read the last few sentences and got the gist of it...

[Walnut]

Walnut

Re: Story Time!

6-2

so about a month ago me and my friends drove to carlisle which is like this big redneck auto show but theres tons of !@#$% you can steal so its cool so while we are driving there we were mooning old people and truckers and we would pull up next to them slow and one of us in the front window would point to the back window and then someone would stick their ass out the back window and the first couple we did it to were these 2 like 80 year old people in a minivan and i thought they would be pissed but you could see they were laughing their asses off so then we started mooning truckers and every trucker either laughed or gave us the thumbs up or honked their horn except for this one guy who swerved at my ass with his truck i guess he didnt like it so we pull up next to this ford focus with a bunch of kids in it and my friend yells "YO CHECK THIS !@#$% OUT" and they look and its two of our asses hanging out the windows and the kids just started busting up laughing and the dude almost crashed his car so next we see a jeep coming onto the highway so i mooned that guy and he looked !@#$% PISSED and he flipped us off and i realized he had like a 2 year old in the back so i was like '!@#$% man go go go' so we sped off but the guy in the jeep !@#$% came after us and was on our ass for like 10 miles and we were going over 90 mph so this dude was nuts with a goddamn kid in the car but finally with some evasive manuvering we lost him and made it to the auto show and it was kinda stupid there just a bunch of old cars but i saw this dudes table with a bunch of random !@#$% on it and he had a !@#$% red cop light like beastie-boys-sabotage-style so i was like 'holy !@#$% i have to buy that how much man' and the guy was like '8 bucks' so i grabbed that !@#$% so fast and threw 8 bucks on the table so on the way back we were !@#$% around with the red light and we were in my friends ford expedition so it already looks like a cop car so we saw some hot chicks in a car in the lane next to us so i put the red light on and held it and stared at them and they just looked at us weird but then my friend driving was like 'OH !@#$% dude shut it off shut it off' and i looked and a car in front of us was pulling over to the side of the road he musta thought we were cops or something so we drove past him and it was some black guy no wonder he pulled over so we decide to stop to get food so i saw a gas station and i was like 'ooh stop there' and everyone else was like 'no !@#$% that place' and i was like 'but theres two hot bitches out side' and my friend was like 'wait thats sarah and laura' and they must have been on their way up to the kegger we were having that night so we pulled in with the cop light flashing and got out and !@#$% with them so after that we were teaming up and mooning truckers with both cars and this one trucker was laughing so hard it looked like he was crying and we did this all the way back but on monday my friend said the state police called him and said they were like 'we got a complaint about someone sticking their ass out the window on 322 we cant prove it was you but if it was dont do it again' so it must have been that !@#$% in the jeep we were at my friends house and we ordered pizza around midnight but before the guy got there we realized we had barely enough money for the pizza let alone a tip so when the pizza guy showed up he was kinda like a stoner lookin dude so my friend was like 'yo man we dont have money for a tip but you can take a bong hit if you want' so the pizza guy was like 'yea sure' and we had just packed this illadelph with some dank heady !@#$% and put keefe on it and the !@#$% pizza guy rips it and clears the bowl pack and the bong in one giant hit and coughs it out and is like 'thanks man' and left and man a hit off that thing from mids can !@#$% you up bad so i dont even wanna know how !@#$% up this guy was gonna be so 40 minutes later the pizza place called us and was like 'yo did you get your food because our pizza guy never came back' and we were like 'yea we got it' and hung up but damn man i wonder what happened to that guy

ROLL TIDE WHAT? **** YOU!!! Geaux Tiga

~The Gaurdians of ZFGC~
Kirby, metallica48423, Max, Vash, walnut100

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